Control
by decodelala
Summary: What happend to Jasper after the incident at Bella's 18th? Let's explore. Might be slightly OOC. R&R. All-canon pairings. Bad summary.. I suck
1. Chapter 1

**A/N hey readers, this is my first FanFic and I hope you all like it. Read and review. Nice only and constructive too. May be a long time before I update.**

_What have I just done?_

My head was spinning. The only thing that was now etched in my brain was the sweet smell of Bella Swan's blood. Edward will kill me. Here and now I only wanted to die. Impossible for a vampire I know, but Edward would rip me to shreds. I couldn't blame him; it was his girlfriend I just tried to kill. But she was human, Eddie shouldn't have gone and stalked her in school and watch her sleep at night. I'd always thought he was an idiot at times. It was wrong, she wasn't one of us, the dangers were clear from the beginning. How Eddie bares it is something I cannot grasp.

Emmett had me in his pure iron grip getting me away from Bella. Once he let go of me I leapt over the river and ran as fast as I could.

As I ran I could still hear them taking about me in the house. Bella urged Edward to go find me. I ran faster knowing Edward would catch up and tear me to pieces. All I wanted to do was go and apologise to Bella and my family. I could sense Alice running behind me. She was worried and I slowed and sent a wave of calmness in her direction.

"It's okay Jazz. Carlisle's fixing Bella up as we speak"

"I know Ali, will you hunt with me?"

"I will, I just have to go get Bella something to wear. Her t-shirt has blood on it"

She flitted off through the forest on her way back the Cullen house. I sat under a nearby tree to wait for her. I wanted to know what damage I had done. How Bella and Edward were. I stuck my hand down my pocket, only to find my phone. I typed a quick message to Edward: _We need to talk._ My phone beeped instantly. Edward: _I know. Late tonight in the clearing. 'Round 3.00am. _I pray he won't rip my head off.

"Alice"

" She's okay Jazz. All stitched up and ready to rumble. Don't worry, we all understand that it's hard for you"

Yeah, me, the freak who can't control his thirst. As always they soothed me and told me I would overcome it some day. I'm still waiting for that special day. I brushed my hair out of my eyes and gave Ali a quick kiss.

"Come on, I need to hunt. Badly"

"Sure"

I smelled a mountain lion walking around the clearing. Could be Edward since he hunts like one. Alice snuck up on me. _She is so beautiful_ I thought to myself. I took down the mountain lion with one swipe.

"I love you Jazzy, no matter what. What you did tonight was inexcusable but I love you too much to forgive you."

"Thank you Alice. I love you so much. More than my own life. I fell in love with you the minute I saw you. You may have scared me by coming up and touching me. Telling me about this family, this family that saved us both from a possible disgusting, brutal way of this life, the Cullen's, they helped us to a better way of living, and then I go and do this. I went for Bella, I wanted her blood so badly since the moment she came to Forks. I'm so sorry Ali, all I want is not to be a horrible monster that wants to take a snap at his brother's girlfriend every time she comes over to visit us…" My voice broke, I was reduced to sobbing, vampire life didn't allow us to cry, monsters.

Monstrous. The perfect way to describe my behaviour tonight. Alice pulled my into her arms. Home. I could have waited lying on the forest floor all night talking with her. Talking about everything that could come to mind. 3.00am came. Time to see Edward.

**A/N okay it's short but the next one will be long I promise! Lala.x**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Okay I have a week off so hopefully I'll get some writing done! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight nor Jazzy(unforch, I know 3)**

**Jasper**

I walked slowly, like a human, to the clearing. I walked to the middle and waited and waited. I looked at my watch to see how long had passed. Thirty seconds. Thirty fucking seconds. He's going to kill me I know it, I know it, I know it.

"You know I won't do that," His soft voice came from through the trees.

I sent the biggest wave of calm I could come up with and sent it in his direction.

"It's fine Jazz, I'm not going to kill you. You're my brother how could I possibly kill you."

" I know. Worry pot me eh?!" I said nervously

" Let's just get this over with right?

"Edward, I'm sorry, it was out of order for me to leave it so long without hunting. You know I would never want any harm to come to Bella, ever, she's to special to all of us, especially you". _And me_. I added in my thoughts. I did love her dearly. He was the only one to know it. Bloody mind reader he doesn't know how annoying it is.

"Well it's annoying that I have to hear you thinking about _my _girlfriend, the person _I_ love every time she comes to visit."

"And it's annoying for me to feel your heart melt with love when you see Ali." I added in a sour tone.

He gasped.

"Yeah, I know too, Eddie" I used the nickname he hated just to annoy him.

He winced. Speechless.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, wondering would a visit to J. Jenks be in store.

"We have to leave it's the only way I can keep her safe."

"But she's going to fall apart Edward. I know she will. She's brittle, can't control her emotions in the right way, she'll never forgive you."

"I know but what if tonight was something bigger. What if I couldn't hear your thoughts and Bella would be gone." He fell to his knees.

I walked over and sent a calming emotion to his body. He started sobbing. I sat on the ground next to him.

"It's going to be okay. Bella knows that you would never hurt her. We don't have to leave do we? You know Esme loves it here and she wants to wait around longer. Emmett just won't leave. Alice won't break Bella's heart by leaving, they're best friends dude. Who's going to look after Bella when she needs to go to hospital because we all know she wants Carlisle to look after her if she does. Rosalie, well, yeah. And then there's you and me, not only will she miss you and all of our family, we're going to miss her even more. Vampire life is depressing without leaving someone. I amn't as in love with her than you are but I feel attached to her, like there's something that I need to do for her. I'm not leaving Edward whatever I'm feeling is something and I'm not going anywhere until it's fulfilled."

"Fine, but we're going to the Denali's tonight to talk about this with the whole family. I'll wait behind for a few days and break the news to Bella. You can come back but if you so much as talk or touch her I will kill you."

"Consider me warned. Someone needs to be here to see what is happening with her and how her life is progressing. I'll be her protector. I'll keep her safe Eddie"

"Please stop calling me that or I'll bite you"

I backed off. Giving him his space. I didn't want to anger him, believe me it was the last thing I wanted because Edward could read my moves. I looked over at him, he just sat there staring into space. He looked like Ali when she was having a vision. I love Ali so much. Whatever was going on with the whole 'protecting Bella' crap was nothing to what I felt about Ali.

"I know that. No reminders needed on how much you love Alice. She is the most amazing yet annoying thing that was ever put on earth. You're a very lucky man to have her." He said out of the blue.

"I know I am. I love her more than my life. You feel the same about Bella so I have to ask why do you feel the need to like my wife? Bella is everything you ever want, brunette, pretty and smart"

"I know, Ali is just Ali, Jazz she's perfect. I love Bella but Alice attracts people to her like a magnet."

I knew that. Everyone loved her instantly. Even humans. It scared me at times. People at school loved her energetic feel instantly.

"Let's go back to the house. Calm Esme down."

We ran through the forest. Edward beat me running to the house. Esme was waiting at the window looking at the river; waiting for us I'm sure. We walked around to the door. Esme and Carlisle were worried, I could feel it. I sent a wave of reassurance to them both. Ali should have told them where we were. Esme would have worried the house down. Once we had one foot inside the door Esme had us in a tight bear like hug. She was the best mother the lot of us could have asked for. She was more instantly loved than Ali.

"You two had me worried sick. Why didn't one of you call? Edward you know too well that Bella will be in a state if she wakes up. And you," she looked directly at me, "we forgive you, of course we do, don't forget that we love you as much as everyone else. Just because you have problems with your thirst does not mean that we would exclude you from our family."

"Thank you Esme, Carlisle, for accepting me for who I am. I am a monster, that much is clear because I took a snap at Bella. I love all of you so much I would never have even thought of doing it, I just got caught up in the moment."

Edward cleared his throat, signalling his turn to make his speech.

"It's time to leave."

He had everyone's attention now.

"This has gone to far. Bella is in too deep. If the Volturi ever found out, Victoria found her, she discovered the werewolves, it's too much for a human to handle. She deserves better than me. We can go to Denali, Jazz and me are going to wait behind and I'll break up with her in the coming days. Jasper is going to be my anti-depressant."

Everyone's mouth was open at this point except mine. I knew this was coming; I'm surprised Ali didn't. Esme drifted over to the couch and sat down her head in her hands. I went over and soothed her, Ali came and took my place to whisper something in her ear. Rosalie had a smug grin on her face while Edward ground his teeth. Whatever she thought hurt Edward. That bitch, he's already having a hard time. I glared at her and she mouthed 'what?' at me.

"Edward go back to Bella, incase she wakes up. We don't want to worry her." I told him.

He flitted out of the house running.

"Rosalie what the hell? He's having a hard time go easy on him." I scolded her.

"Whatever you say Jazz." She replied simply.

Ali turned to me "wanna go for a walk Jazzy?"

"Sure"

We turned and walked out.

A/N okay don't worry this is not going to be a BellaxJasper fic. I wouldn't have that! You just have to wait and see what happens! Thank you to jasperwillbiteme (love you, you wondrous, inspirational writer) and Electrical storm 1996 for your nice reviews! Lala.x Oh music: Misguided Ghosts-Paramore


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Twilight nor Jazzy are mine :'( as much as I would like…**

**Jasper**

She walked around to the garage. '_What's going on?'_ I thought. Uh-oh, she saw me and Edward's conversation. This was going to be bad. She turned around and looked at me, once again I was stunned by her beauty. I walked up and kissed her.

"I love you" I touched her nose with the tip of my finger.

"I love you more."

"Not possible honey."

"Lets go for a drive eh?"

"Sure, Edward's car?"

She nodded and got in the passenger seat of the sleek, silver Volvo.

"Where does my princess want to go?"

"Let's go to Seattle!"

The car ride was silent with the normal chitchat that normal people use. All of a sudden Ali spoke.

"Don't leave me Jazzy. Please don't. I saw your discussion with Eddie. You can protect Bells without leaving me. Edward could never love me as much as you love me. I only love you. You are the man I fell in love with, no one can compare to my Jazzy. You mean more to me than all of our family put together. If you're staying to 'protect Bella' I'm staying to."

I was shocked. No one has ever said something more beautiful to me in the whole of my existence. Ali sat there looking at me waiting for a reply. She shook my arm in order to get me to talk. And to think she thought I would leave her? Blasphemes.

"Ali." That was all I managed to choke out.

"Jazzy, I love you, I love you, I love you so much. Don't leave me, ever."

She started to sob. I couldn't bear seeing her upset. I pulled over on the side of the road and pulled her into my lap and wrapped my arms around her. This was a bad night for both of us. I raised my face up to hers and kissed her lips lightly followed by her cheek. I made my way to her ear and whispered in it:

"I love _you._ And only you. I would never even think of leaving you. I know that Edward would never love you more than I do because he would never, ever have you. I need to protect Bella from something; I can feel that something bad will happen otherwise. I wouldn't let you go anyway, you're waiting with me whether you like it or not. I need my Ali with me, forever and always. That's the way we both want it and that's how it's going to be. I love _you_ more than everything in the whole wide world. You've been there for me, loved me, put up with me and understood me from the moment we met in that special diner in Philadelphia. You don't mind the scars that I have, the remembrance everyday of the cruel things that were done to me and the thing I also did to others of our kind."

I tightened my grasp on her not wanting to let her go after my declaration.

"Ali, I love you," I added in a sweet tone.

She stopped sobbing instantly. She stared into my eyes and I looked deep into those gorgeous big, golden eyes that suited her all to well. Our hands were intertwined at this point and we just sat there looking at each other. I kissed her every now and then when suddenly she spoke and said go was time to go home or Esme would be going insane. As much as I was reluctant to let her out of my arms I let her and I drove fastly back to our house.

Yet again Esme was at the window waiting for us. I sent calmness in her direction and her shoulders dropped instantly. I parked Edwards's car in the garage again and Alice and I walked hand in hand up the stairs and into the living room. Rosalie was looking at herself in her hand-held mirror while Emmett was watching sports on the new sixty-inch flat screen Carlisle got him. Esme hugged Alice and I walked over and sat on the couch with Em.

"Where did ye two get off to?" He quizzed.

That got me I didn't even know where we went. I didn't answer him and he went back looking at some stupid football game. Ali came and sat on my lap and asked me to come up to our room. We ran up the stairs and Alice closed the door after her.

"Hello," she said sweetly.

"Can I ask why you have me captured in our room?" I quizzed.

"Meh, I don't especially want to be down there at the moment."

"Where's Edward?"

"School, he'll be here shortly."

"Well my dear would you like to come hunt with me? We have nothing else for doing."

"Hmm, no, let's go shopping!" She jumped up and down excitedly.

"Whatever my darling wants, she shall have."

She screamed. Everyone in our family knew all Alice wanted to do was shop, shop and shop some more. I grabbed her and hugged her. I got my wallet from our bedside locker and she dragged me down stairs.

"Where are you two going now?" Esme asked.

"Shopping!" Alice said more excited than a kid on Christmas morning.

"I should have guessed!" Esme laughed, "have fun" she added in a light tone.

She hayed to see us go. I could feel it in her emotions. It was like she always thought we'd never come back. Maybe she doesn't realise how much we love her and cherish the love she returns to us. Ali pulled on my arm some more and we once again stole Edward's car. He was not going to be happy that he had to go to school in Em's jeep. I drove as fast as possible to keep Alice calm incase she would combust with excitement.

"I love you" I said as I pressed down on the accelerator.

**A/N Hey guys. Okay I wrote this chapter in less than thirty minutes so I hope it's okay! Please review! Music: Decode-Paramore Lala.x**


	4. Chapter 4

** Jasper**

I brought Ali to her favourite mall in Seattle. _Bridgeway Avenue, _where all the designer crap was. She loved it though and that's all I cared about. Her happiness shone through her like the sun. She dragged me into _Abercrombie & Fitch _to buy me some new hoodies. I had to say they had some nice hoodies. Then off to some other shop I didn't even bother to look at the name. More clothes piled into my hands the second we walked in the door.

"Ali I'm not sure do I need…"

She shushed me. Right not to disturb my little shopper. I went up and paid for more jumpers, jeans, shirts and tees than all of us needed. We already had enough clothes. I had to let her shop though; it was the only way to keep her in tiptop form. She was the one who kept us happy in return. She pulled on my arm and looked into my eyes.

"What's up baby?" She asked.

"Oh nothing just thinking about everything that's going on." I replied simply

"Okay let's go home I think we have enough…" glancing at the twenty bags I was holding.

I laughed and walked hand in hand with her to the Volvo. I packed the bags into the boot and jumped into the drivers seat. We got home from Seattle in about an hour. Fast vampire driving or what? Even being distracted by Ali messing with my hair I could drive fast! I drove through our long drive and parked up again. I got the bags and we ran up the stairs to see our family wasn't there except for Edward. He chuckled.

"Jazz, you survived!"

Alice scolded him. She didn't like people making a joke of shopping. I laughed but stopped short knowing Ali would be pissed off if I continued.

"Where's everyone at Eddie?" She asked.

"They went hunting, before they leave to Denali. We're going to talk about what's happening when they return."

I joined in on the conversation.

"Have you told Bells yet?"

His mood instantly dropped and he sat down. Note to self: don't bring up Bella unless necessary. Ali sat on the white couch beside him and put her arm around him. I couldn't help but be jealous.

"I'm fine Ali thanks."

Alice flitted over to my side and I hugged her waist. Edward was going to be depressed for a long time after this break up. It's stupid that we have to leave; they're the perfect couple, inseparable, two halves of a whole. He seriously did need me as an anti-depressant.

"Oh, it's seven I better be off to Bella's. I'll talk to everyone later on. Three a.m."

"Sure, see you later." I said looking down at Ali having a vision.

Edward ran down the stairs and I heard the purr of the Volvo as he drove away. Ali gasped looking up at me. Her vision. What's happening?

"Al, what is it? What did you see?

"He's going…to l-leave…her in t-the woods…a-and she's going to t-try and follow him." She stuttered.

My teeth ground together. How could he? He could do it in the safety of her house at least. There is something wrong in that boys head it's official. Ali made her way to the couch and sat down. I walked over and sat beside her. She left her head on my lap and put her feet on the couch.

"The bad thing is I can't see her getting out of there. What if she isn't found Jazzy? We can't just leave her there. Eddie shouldn't do this. It's too much. For both of them. Can he not see how upset she will be? How depressing he will be to be around? You know what he's like when he's sulky. Not even you can cheer him up enough, no offence it's just not possible. Idiot, idiot, idiot."

She kept babbling on and on about this until the rest of the family came home.

"Hey guys." She greeted them and gave Esme a hug.

Everyone went to their rooms except for Ali and me as we waited on the couch talking. It came 10:30 p.m. and we heard a car come down the drive.

"Is that Eddie? He's early. Why is he here? He should be with Bella?" Ali quizzed me.

"Yes it's Eddie. Stop talking, that's all you've done tonight."

"Sorry, I'm just anxious about what's going to happen to us all after this. Will we break apart, stay together, we just don't know. Even I don't." She chuckled.

"Hello," his soft voice startled us, "how has the best brother and sister been?"

"We have been good," rubbing Ali's arm, "how are you and Bella?"

"I couldn't take it seeing her…" here we go again, "how am I supposed to break her heart tomorrow? I'm starting to think this is a bad idea," aren't we all, "she knew something was up, I didn't even speak to her much. How big of an idiot am I?"

"A big one." Ali and I said in unison. We laughed but Edward glared at us. Maybe saying that was a bad idea.

"Are you sure you want to break up with her Eddie?" She quietly asked. Why did she get to call him Eddie? Stupid lover boy. He'd want to put his money where his mouth is.

"No, but I have to there's no other way of protecting her…"

There was silence then. Maybe I wasn't the on to protect her. Eddie was. And the sooner her realised that the better.

"I can't protect her, you are the one to do that." Edward's voice broke the silence. "I think it's time to talk to everyone else about where we're going to go and how we'll deal with this."

Rosalie was the first one down the stairs with Emmett closely following giving her an exasperated look. Carlisle appeared at the top of the stairs and cleared his throat.

"Esme would prefer if she could stay in our room, she can't face anyone at the moment."

Ali looked up at me, her eyes filled with sadness.

"It's okay darlin', we're going to get through this, together." I leaned down and kissed her.

"Okay love birds make some room for your big brother!" Emmett announced.

Ali got up from her lying position and sat on the ground with her head on my knee. She was the only exception for my undying love and devotion and she knew that all too well.

"Well, let's get this over with. All of ye know that we have to go and I will be breaking up with Bella tomorrow. I think we should go to Denali to our cousins for the time being until we decide together what we are going to do. Start packing because we're going tomorrow."

"It's about time…" Rosalie sneered

"Rosalie!" Ali shouted and threw a pillow at her. She stormed up the stairs and slammed the door in our room.

"Thanks Rosalie, like she wasn't upset enough as it is you had to go and make it worse. This is a hard time for all of us, Esme can't face us, Ali's putting on a brave face but I know how she's feeling and Edward has to break Bella's heart along with his own, so if you don't mind try keeping your thoughts to yourself." I declared to her.

She got up and left and flitted up the stairs to her room. Edward sighed.

"I'm going up to see Ali, she has to be upset."

I ran up the stairs leaving Em and Eddie in the living room to chat. I braced myself before I opened the door to see Alice lying on the bed sobbing yet again. I lay down beside her and held her in my arms.

* * *

**Okay longish chapter this time… **

**I hope to update soon and thinking of Alice POV for the next chapter, tell me if I should or not… **

**Review please . . . ****Music: The Only Exception – Paramore & Under Pressure (Ice Ice Baby) – Jedward (sorry I love them, Irish gods and what not!). . . Lala.x**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Alice**_

For the first time in my vampire life I wanted to be dead. Rosalie was a nice girl and I did love her but what she said tonight was rude to all of us. Especially Edward, he's having it tough and Bella was going to be heartbroken. Oh Bella, I'm going to miss her so much… My one and only human best friend and now we had to leave her, on her own. She will never cope without him. I heard the door crack open and I knew it could only be Jazz. He stood at the door momentarily looking at my shaking body. I must look terrible, lying here sobbing over a small thing that was going to change in our life. He crept over, lay by my side and put his arms around me. I felt loved instantly and my sobbing ceased slightly. He sat with me and calmed me slowly and at about three a.m. my sobbing had stopped and I was sitting in Jazz's lap telling him how much I loved him. Our faces were so close that the tips of our noses were touching. Jazz leaned in and kissed my lips followed by the tip of my nose. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his jugular. Jazzy looked into his eyes and I saw the reflection of his watch when I looked back up. Holy crap it was four a.m. and I still hadn't went to see how Edward was and if Esme was okay. I looked at Jazz and got up.

"I have to go see how the others are." I smiled at him.

"Of course, I'll be here, want to catch up on my reading."

I opened the door and I saw Rose standing outside. She pulled me into her arms and hugged me tight. She whispered in my ear telling me everything was going to be okay and we'd come back someday. But someday wasn't enough, Bella was going to grow old and not care about us after the hurt that we will have caused her.

"Alice?" Edward's voice came from the top of the stairs. Rosalie let go of me and I walked over to Edward.

"Can we go somewhere to talk?" He asked politely.

"Sure. Is Esme okay though?"

"She's fine, just upset about leaving. I was talking to her earlier. Have you started packing? You'll be the one to take the longest. You have the most clothes and shit like that."

I smacked the back of his head. I did _not_ have that much clothes. We ended up in Eddie's room sitting on his couch.

"Edward, how are you coping? It has to be much harder for you, I'm sure. You shouldn't suffer in silence. I'm her, Jazz's here, everyone is going to be there for you."

"I know, it just hasn't hit me yet…"

"Are you absolutely positive you want to do this?"

"What else can I do Ali? If we wait the more danger I'm putting her in."

"But if you leave you're tearing her apart, pulling her to shreds. She's been emotionally unstable since we met her, and probably before too. I can see you leaving her in the forest, unsafe, she gets lost, Charlie gets a big search crew looking for, and I can't see her coming out Edward. It's no wonder Jazzy thinks he needs to protect her if you're going to do that." I could feel my anger rising through me like steam. I got up to go find Jazz to calm me down. Edward pulled me straight back down and hugged me tight. I didn't want to push him away because he was hurting right now but subconsciously I was aware that Edward had some crush thing for me. If Jazz found out… I shuddered away from the thought.

"How would he find out?" Edward gently whispered in my ear. Edward pulled away from me and looked into my eyes. I felt uncomfortable looking at the look in his eyes. He looked hurt, in love and depressed all at the same time… I was so engrossed in my own thoughts that I didn't see him leaning further towards me. Before I knew it we were kissing. I tried my best to push him away but Eddie was so much stronger than me. I just let the kiss continue until he decided to stop it. I got up and screamed my heart out.

"Get the fuck off me Edward, I'm with Jasper unless that completely slipped your mind!" He looked at me with pleading eyes. "Stay away from me Edward." I ran out the door and slammed into Jasper outside his door.

"Did he just do what I think he did?" He hissed in my ear as he put his arms protectively around me.

"Calm down Jazz it's okay. Let's go back to our room okay?"

"Cullen you better watch yourself." Jazz growled. His nostrils flared and he let go off me and broke Edward's door down.

"JASPER!" I screamed. I ran in after him and pulled him toward the now battered door where Emmett stood. Emmett dragged him to our room and left to have a 'chat' with Emmett. It happened so quickly it went in a blur. Jazz sat on our bed and I sat down beside him and rubbed his head to calm him.

"I love you," I whispered in his ear "always have and always will, just remember that"

We lay down together on our bed with our limbs intertwined and faces just centimetres away from each other. If life could be like this for every moment of every day I would have taken it no questions asked. Although we were safely in our room I was worried about what Jasper was going to do to Edward when he saw him next…

**Hello everyone! I'd like to thank my good friend jasperwillbiteme for reading my story and also writing a truly amazing one herself (seriously go read it)… Enjoy and review! Thanks LaLa.x**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Jasper**_

As I lay here beside the love of my life I thought of how our lives have changed so much in 7 months. Edward had made us hunt more; act more human (which was impossible because we already were pretending to be human). We discovered a loving, protective side of Edward that none of us had ever thought was in him. The loving and calming feeling I was sending to Alice seemed to work. Her mood slowly got better and a feeling of reassurance washed over me. Once Ali was okay that was the only thing that was important to me. Alice shifted in my arms and I let her get up and sit in my lap. We talked and kissed until Alice thought it was time to go and talk to Esme was I guessed.

"Of course, I'll be here, want to catch up on my reading" I replied simply to her. She flitted out of the room and looked at me once more before she closed the door. I smiled, she's happy that's all I want. I walked over to the small bookcase in the far corner of our room and picked out _'To Kill a Mockingbird'_, one of my personal favourites. I started out and was reading the first chapter when Emmett burst through the door and informed me that some Irish rugby game was about to start. I gave him an exasperated look.

"C'mon Jazz, rugby is better than football and you know it."

I did know it. I fricking loved rugby. Full of action and scoring. I ran down the stairs faster than Emmett, I felt high… Ireland is playing England. Big match… I turned my head away from the gripping match to see Esme coming down the stairs.

"Hey Esme, how you feeling?" I asked sweetly.

"Much better, thank you Jasper."

"Um Esme where's Ali?" I quizzed her.

"Talking to Edward in his room I think…"

Emmett brought my attention back to the game with a huge roar as Ireland scored another try. Why was Alice with Edward? I tried to focus on the game but I was constantly worried about what was going on upstairs between them. Half time came in the game when all I could hear was Alice's angry voice.

"Get the fuck off me Edward, I'm with Jasper unless that completely slipped your mind!" I was off the couch and up those stairs in less than a second. I knew Emmett was closely following me. I stood outside Edwards door. "Stay away from me Edward." That was the last she said to him before she ran out and slammed into my body. I put my arms around her in a protective cage.

"Did he just do what I think he did?" I hissed in her ear while I heard Edward walk around his room cussing. He fucking kissed my wife? My wife? While he's still with Bella? What the hell is wrong with him?

"Calm down Jazz it's okay. Let's just go back to our room." Alice spoke swiftly trying to get me away from there. There was no way I was going to go to our room after what he just did.

"Cullen you better watch yourself." I growled furiously. My nostrils flared when I heard him murmur, "It was well worth it," or something close to that. That was my control gone. I let go of Ali not wanting her to get hurt. I broke his door down with thoughts of hate, disgust, disbelief and deceit. My own brother. A person whom I loved and trusted to do exactly the opposite of what he just did. I heard Alice scream my name after me. Edward just looked at me with apologising eyes, with pleading in them too. Probably thought I'd kill him. I edged closer to him and I my hand was almost at his neck when Alice pulled my arm and dragged me to the door where Emmett stood. I was infuriated; Emmett pulled me to my room despite my cussing and fighting back. Alice held my hand as Emmett pushed me through our door. Alice whispered a thank you to him and Emmett said he was going to 'chat' with Edward. I sat on the bed. Ashamed of myself for losing my cool yet again. Alice sat beside and rubbed my head, trying to soothe me I guess.

"I love you," she whispered in my ear, "always have always will, just remember that." The sweet tone of her voice was enough to set my non-beating heart on fire. It was the things that she said to me that kept me grounded, from going on a killing rampage or even trying to kill myself to get away from this depressing life and the disturbing things that I had done in the vampire wars. We lay don on our bed together with our limbs intertwined and our faces just centimetres away from each other. This is why I love my life. The fact that people who love and care for me every night and day surround me keeps me happy. We waited like this until the sun rose at about 7.30 a.m. Alice and I got up and decided to go and see the rest of our family. As we ran I decided to go see Edward.

"I think I should go see him." I whispered in Alice's ear. She knew whom I was talking about.

"Are you sure? Maybe I should go with you…" She trailed off. I kissed her hand that was in my own.

"Trust me darlin' I'll be fine." I went back up the stairs and braced my self as I stopped at his door. _You can do this don't be a chicken. It's just Edward._ I knocked on a piece of the door that survived my anger last night. Inside I saw Edward in sweatpants and a hoody. Very 'non-Edward'. Alice had better not see him or she'll through a hissy fit. He was packing his countless amount of cd's he had gathered over the years. I found my tongue and spoke to him.

"Hi, how're things going?" I asked sheepishly knowing the answer.

"How do you think it's going Jazz. It's fucking SHIT. I hate this feeling." He left his cd's on the ground and sat on his long black couch.

"Look dude I'm sorry for my rude behaviour last night. I got angry and lost it."

"No hard feelings. I would have done the same if I was in your position."

I stared out the window. I couldn't forgive him just yet. What he did was wrong and selfish on his behalf. I knew he could hear every word of this but I honestly didn't care. He needed to know how I felt. I could feel a deep regret radiating off him. There was going to be a tension between us from now on and we both knew it. I had to protect Bella from something and Edward was probably one of the things.

"Um I'll leave you to pack." I turned and walked out of his room. I walked at a human pace downstairs to the living room where the rest of the family was sitting.

"Jasper," Carlisle smiled at me, "have you discussed things in a peaceful manner with your brother?"

"Uh yeah sort of."

"That's good." He replied simply.

I leaned against one of the widows looking into the woods. I felt the urge to hunt get my mind off everything that was going on. I realised how our lives had got so much harder in less than three days. Edward going out with Bella in the first place had been such a change for all of us in the first place. Especially for me with my issues with my thirst. However, Edward leaving Bella is upsetting us and causing us to do things we thought were wrong, not decent and uncapable of our doing. I am hurt because of Edward's dishonesty, Esme and Carlisle are upset to leave, again, the place they call home, Forks WA. Alice is depressed due to the fact that Bella is her first human friend and she has to leave her after getting quite attached to her. She lover her so dearly. Emmett loved Forks more than all of us. It meant something special to him; he was created here so he had some bond with it that was unimaginable for me. I had such a terrible upbringing that I didn't want to think about it. Rosalie has mixed feelings about going, sad to leave yet happy to get away from Bella and move somewhere new. Edward was unreadable at the moment. It's like he's blocking all of his feelings out.

Alice sauntered over to me. I probably look depressed or something. Pondering to myself like a mad hatter. She had worrying eyes when she looked up at me from her small, petite self.

"You okay babe?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah just thinking about leaving you know." I replied blankly.

"I know it's hard but we have to get through it. Together, always and forever babe." It seems like she's looking at a happier side of this depressing situation. If there is a happy side. She looked into my eyes and it felt like she was looking deep into my soul.

"Your eyes are getting dark." It was like she knew I wanted to hunt. I looked down at her and smiled.

"Speak for yourself darlin'." Her eyes are also getting dark around the edges. I laughed at the little pout she made when I said this, signalling a win for me.

"Guys we're going for a drive to Port Angeles. Talk soon." Emmett boomed from behind us. I swear I saw Alice jump with the volume of his voice.

"Bye guys." I said in reply. Alice and I both waved at Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Rosalie as the closed the door and ran down the stairs.

"Well I guess it's you, Edward and me" Alice joked. His name seemed to aggravate me in a weird way.

"Yeah I guess so. Let's follow his example and start packing. Carlisle said our cases and boxes are in his office." I said in a happy tone, not wanting her to sense the tension between Edward and I. I placed my hand in hers and gave it a small squeeze. She gave me a breathtaking smile in return. As we ran up the stairs Ali came to a halt.

"What's wrong dear?" I asked worriedly.

"We should go see Edward. He's leaving soon to break up with Bella." Her pleading, sad eyes are enough to make me say yes without a second thought. We passed all the rooms in the upstairs hallway. We braced ourselves before turning the last corner to Edward's room. Alice knocked on the side of the door that I didn't manage to knock down last night. The depressed mood in his room worried me. He hasn't even broken up with her yet and he hasn't experienced life without her yet. I filled the room with happiness and love hoping it would work.

"Hey, how's the packing treating you?" I asked simply, trying to be on my best behaviour for Alice because she knows what's going to happen with him. I wouldn't want to make it worse and upset her. He didn't respond so I didn't press him.

"Are you ready to see Bella Edward?" Alice asked in a light tone looking around the empty room in awe.

"Yeah just about. Trying not to think of it too much. I honestly don't know what to say to her or how to just walk away not knowing whether she gets out of the forest okay or not." He replied in a boring monotone. I decided it was time for some input from me.

"Look Edward, I'll go up there later tonight to check if she's okay. Someone has to find her in the woods. Even if it is on of those dogs." He winced at my last sentence and I regretted it afterwards.

"Thank you Jazz. I would much appreciate it if you did. Now if you two would excuse me, I want to prepare myself mentally and physically for what I'm about to do." He looked down at his shoes as he finished not wanting to make eye contact with us.

"Okay then, see you later." I replied. Not wanting to linger I grabbed Alice's hand and pulled her out of the room with me.

"Bye." She muttered to him. She didn't seem comfortable there also. We got to our room with our cases and boxes to begin packing. I kissed her softly.

"You're mine," I began to tell her.

"Forever and always babe." She finished for me.

* * *

**Hello again readers. Big thank yous going out for my big sissy jasperwillbiteme (you rock girl), Erin (teamjacobfrolife) you have random thoughts that make me laugh! Hollie, you always read my story and want updates thanks girl! Edward POV next chapter maybe?**

**Tweet me people: decodelala**

**p.s. Eimear (my wifey/bestfriend) wants to say hi to my readers.. **

**Music: Kiss with a Fist by Florence and the Machine.**

**Review please, I need them! Lala.x **


	7. Chapter 7

**Edward **

The time closed in on me like an elastic band recoiling. Soon I had to break my true and only loves heart. I'd never realised how cruel and cold hearted I could be until this moment in time. I've betrayed my brother, I've betrayed the Volturi's strict rules and most of all I've betrayed Bella. All the promises of eternity and love forever. So much for the happy, joyful life I had planned to have with Bella.

I walked around my piano stroking the glossy black paint as I circled it. I could hear Jasper and Ali's sweet, childish banter as they packed up to leave. I was feeling guilty for making my family move. They loved it here. What I wouldn't give to be Jasper in this moment in time. He has the most perfect girl in the world and have a carefree life. I couldn't help but partly blame Jasper for this wreck. But it opened my eyes to the danger I was putting Bella in with this life that we have been subjected to. As I came back to the seat in front of my piano I had a flashback of Bella and I sitting on this seat together while I played the lullaby I wrote for her. This is where I played it to her for the very first time. I had perfected it to a fine thread so it would be perfect for her. I wanted her to see how much she meant to me and how much I loved her. From the moment she sat beside me in Biology II, although the thirst almost killed me, her chocolate brown eyes melted my cold, unbeating heart. Her eyes gave away so much about her. It was my only way to read her. It was blatant what she was thinking just with the look she had in her eyes.

After spending this amount of time with Bella I wondered how long it would take me to get over the fact that I would never be able to spend another day together with the one and only true love of my existence. As much as I want to say Bella would be way better with me I can't fight with an eclipse. The truth really is that Bella will move on fastly, find an amazing guy who loves her for who she really is, marry him, have children with him, grow old with him and live her life the way she should have. She can forget all about the past few months. Forget that vampires exist, that everything that seemed a myth is a myth. Because, as I se it, it has messed her life up. And now is the best time to get her out of it before it goes too far.

As I sat at my piano and stroked the long white keys, all my memories with Bella flashed before me. Bella's beautiful face was the only thing I could see in the blur of my memories. Everything else in my life seemed meaningless in this moment.

A hand landed on my shoulder as I was zoned out. It was Esme; I could hear her mothering thoughts. This comforted me in w way. It was nice to hear that someone cared about me. I didn't deserve it. I had been horrible to my family lately. She wrapped her arms around me and I turned to hug her properly. She kissed the top of my head and I sighed in relief that she didn't hold a grudge.

"We're leaving now Edward, with Rosalie and Emmett. We have everything with us. We'll see you in Denali tomorrow." She smiled down at me. She hugged my shoulders once more before she turned and walked over to Carlisle who was lingering behind her.

_We love you. I love you. Don't do anything crazy while you're on your own. I trust you to come to Denali in full peace and happiness. See you soon._

Carlisle's thoughts told me something important. That I couldn't do anything rational while on a free whim. I had to keep my anger on the down low and not depress my own family by my loss. Alice and Jasper arrived downstairs to say goodbye to everyone. They hugged and kissed them and waved as they left. I just sat there looking at my piano like a fool. Alice walked slowly over to me with Jazz hovering behind her. She rubbed her hand along my arm.

"You going soon Eddie?"

I looked at my watch and I say that is was 3:31. I guess it was my time to leave.

"Yeah, I'll go there now. I'll be back soon."

She walked back to Jasper and he put his hand around her waist. They went back upstairs to resume their packing and I got my keys from the rack beside the front door. I opened the door and walked slowly walked to my Volvo.

"Fuck." I cussed as I sat into the drivers seat. I had to get rid of everything that would remind Bella of us. To make it easier for her to move on. I also had to forge a note from her to Charlie. Alice had said she would wait in the forest.

I thought as I sped up the car on the road to Bella's house about how much she changed he lifestyle since she arrived here. She hardly slept, thought of me non-stop and revolved her day around mine.

I pulled into Charlie's space outside her house. I didn't plan on waiting long. I got in the front door with ease and ran upstairs to Bella's room. I thought of what I had to get rid of. Photos, presents and the cd Alice and I made for her. I jabbed my finger at the eject button of her player and I took the cd out. I left it on the bed and took up the loose floorboard. I threw the cd into it and walked to her desk to get her new scrapbook of photos and plane tickets from my parents. I flung the tickets into the hole in the floor and turned back to the scrapbook and opened it. It had many pictures of her birthday party, the previous night in Charlie's living room and a number from school. One picture on the first page caught my eye. It was clearly folded in half and it showed only me. I pulled the photo away from the page along with the sellotape and unfolded it. On the other side was her. I felt a twinge of hurt. She obviously didn't believe she had true beauty and had only shown me as she thinks I am beautiful. Which I am far from. I took out the rest of the photos of my family and I and put them in the hole. I knelt down and pulled the floorboard down to its original state. I left the scrapbook back on the desk waiting to be filled with her memories of her senior year. I jumped out the window to wait for her to arrive. I waited at the side of her house and I watched her turn the corner and pull into her spot. She hopped out of her truck and I saw her eyes light up as she walked towards me. Get ready for this Cullen, because it's not going to be easy.

**Well hello, sorry for the long wait for me to update. I wanted to give up this but I didn't. See Erin, I won't give up on my Jasper :] love lala.x**

**oh yeah follow me on twitter decodelala**


	8. Chapter 8

**Jasper**

Alice took her suitcase into her walk-in wardrobe to pack her clothes. I got a box from the floor and walked over to my bookcase. I stroked the spine of some of the books on the top shelf. I took each book out one by one and stacked them neatly in the box. I finished with all my books and I went to see how Ali was getting on in the wardrobe.

"Hey darlin'," I started as I walked in. "How's the packing going?"

She came into my view and I could see that she was sobbing. She was sat on the floor with her clothes surrounding her. I filled the room with happiness and hope to stop her from sobbing tearlessly. I sat down with her trying to avoid the mounds of clothes. Her sobbing ceased and I began to talk.

"Babe, what's got you so upset?" I quizzed.

"I just keep having visions of Bella being so upset. Then I have visions of Edward leaving us and not wanting any contact anymore. Jazz." She looked up at me, "will we ever come back? Or will we have to avoid Forks forever?"

She got me with that question. It would be hard to stay away since we had all grown so attached to Forks and everything we had here. I decided to keep positive to avoid more depression.

"Ali, everything is going to be okay. We'll come back eventually. We'll forget soon. Hopefully. Edward will get over Bella and find someone great. I know he will. He's a kind, loving guy. Bella is an amazing, talented girl. Sure she's clumsy and that but she will live her human life brilliantly. She's better off being human. You have to admit that at sometime we have all got depressed of this life. It's always the same, nothing changes. We would probably all go back to being human if we had the chance. Now Bella is getting that and you shouldn't be sad. We have our lives and she has hers. We're just going back to the way we used to live it and Bella will do the same." I cleared my throat and looked down at the angel I was holding in my arms. I heard our door click open as Alice reach up to kiss me. I gave her a swift peck and looked up to see Emmett standing in front of us. Great, I thought, let the taunts begin.

"Well love birds, I've missed you! I see you've been doing great amounts of packing." He said eyeing the clothes we were surrounded in.

"Get to the point Emmett." I sighed.

"Okay, okay! We're leaving now. Off to Denali. Wanna come down and say goodbye to us all or are you two busy, err, packing?" Alice and I rose from the wardrobe floor avoiding more dirty humour. Emmett sniggered.

"Better wait 'til later Jazz when you have the house to yourselves." He whispered. I smacked the back of his head and Alice scowled. We closed the door in our room and Emmett went down ahead of Alice and I. I wrapped my arm around her wais t and pulled her close to me. I could see Esme comforting Edward in the side of my eye. If he's really going to be treated like a child from now on I'm leaving. Esme walked away from him with hesitation. Alice went to give Rosalie a hug and I slapped Emmett's arm. Esme and Carlisle made there way over to us while I gave Rose a tight hug. Edward remained on the seat of his piano. Esme and Carlisle hugged Alice and me both and we waved to them as they left. Alice pulled away from me and I let go of her reluctantly. I knew what she was up to. She was going to remind him to go. I waited near the stairs for her as she walked elegantly over to him and rubbed his arm. A twinge of jealousy ran through me. Was there any need for that in all honesty?

"You going soon Eddie?"

He looked at his watch and a worried expression crossed his face. He so did not want to do this.

"Yeah, I'll go there now. I'll be back soon."

He got up and Alice walked back to me. I wrapped my arm around her waist again. I buried my head in her hair and we walked upstairs again. I sat on our bed and Alice sat on my lap facing me. Our faces were not but centimetres apart. I kissed her softly and she kissed me back eagerly. Before we broke apart we were breathless.

"I think we should pack Jazzy." She sighed.

"Hmm, I suppose… Once I get you later."

"You always have me." She smiled deviously at me as she got up. She walked back into her closet again and I could hear her ruffling along. She probably tripped or fell amongst all the clothes she had in there. I got our cd's and put them in one of the boxes. I stacked up three boxes full of little things that were lying around our room. I decided to bring the boxes downstairs to avoid the hassle later. I opened the door and carried the boxes down with me and left them near the piano. I heard the front door bang as I left them down. I looked up to see Edward storming in through the door.

"Hey, how's the break up go?" I asked politely

"Uh, just fuck off Jasper." He rushed up the stairs and I heard Alice squeak his name followed by his broken door banging loudly.

"Well someone's in a delightful mood eh?" I murmured as I ran up the stairs to our room.

"Jazzy, do you want to go hunt before you have to check on Bella?" Alice asked.

"Sure. Anything to get away from Captain Anti-depressant we have here." She laughed quietly and I opened out door/window and jumped down. Alice followed shortly. We jumped the river easily and I grabbed her hand and ran alongside her.

We quickly caught three elk each and I devoured mine like each was the last. I felt full and Alice said she was too. By the time we got back to the house it was about eight o'clock and it was starting to get dark. I decided it was time to fulfil my promise and go see if Bella gets home safely. I had to avoid anyone who would recognise me, which was everyone in Forks, because they believed we had already left. I kissed Ali goodbye and I took Edward's Volvo to the edge of the forest where it wouldn't be seen. Alice had said she wouldn't be far into the forest and it would be easy to find her especially with her scent. I began my trek and began to smell her as I walked further in. I stood by a tree and sniffed to see what direction to go in. As I did this a giant black wolf came out from the thick forest. I took a step back and looked on in awe.

**A/N Read and review please! Love for you all! Lala.x**


End file.
